Now in our sixth year - still all free and moving in on over 150,000 active male members and thousands of bi couples - the Bi MEN NETWORK is still devoted to an active and happy sex life for all of our many, diverse members!

BUT - in today's world that means SAFE SEX. IF you do not know that by now - you are either a young fresh babe in the woods and should leave as you need to be 18 to be a member here - or are a RIP VAN WINKLE just stirring after 30 odd years of sleep!

This piece today is on SAFE SEX - for our "garden variety" bisexual, bi-curious and gay members and bi couples who engage in "ROUTINE" oral and anal sex. We are NOT discussing fringe areas - as b & d, s & m, fisting, gang-rape scenes, any scenes which involve bodily wastes or drawing blood or the inflicting of pain.

We are talking about 80 per cent or more of the sex going on here - between bi and gay men. AND we have and will always encourage our Bi MEN membership to play - and play safely.

It is said in TODAY'S WORLD - that when you go to bed with someone you are going to bed with everyone THEY have ever in their lives had sex with.

IF you are a Bi MEN MEMBER who fully intends to have at least one more sex act with your wife in the future - YOUR WIFE is also going to bed with this person and every person they have had sex with in their lives before YOU!

AND it is also commonly said - a person today is only as good as their last AIDS and STD test. Well - even that is not true - as test results are SOON no longer wholly accurate (ie sex had since the test and certain incubation periods, etc).

SO it is tricky out there. DO NOT KID YOURSELVES - it is a mine field.

So what is a horny sumbitch to do in the early 21st century? Well if you are here with us - abstinence or just your WIFE alone or girlfriend is likely NOT enough for you. IF it is you are lucky! We welcome the many members here who are FAITHFUL to their partners and just enjoy being part of the Bi Men.

We are FIRM BELIEVERS in a happy and active sex life at the Bi MEN but a responsible sex life - either with ONE partner - or a series of one partners - or an active, many partnered sex life!

You would not knowingly pass the BLACK DEATH, or leprosy, or cancer on to loved ones or even casual sex partners. AIDS and many other STD's are just far trickier and even more awkward for many folks to deal with.

We have long posted these bi-friendly SAFE SEX websites at the Bi MEN and do so again in case you have any questions or concerns - and to keep them handy.  They are:

http://www.fenwayhealth.org

http://www.ashastd.org

http://www.biresource.org/bothteams

http://www.weholife.org/sexcity.htm

http://www.stdservices.on.net/std/

You can always find these in this PIECE under the "Wednesday's Child" feature at the www.bimen.org website and at our Bi MEN WINNERS feature there too. 

SO WHAT TO DO THIS DAY AND AGE!

NOTE: The remarks below are by no means those of an EXPERT - see the websites listed above. ALSO these comments regard "typical" Bi MEN members here who are having some man to man action with with other men: i.e. bisexual men, bi-curious men or gay men or threesomes with bi couples or threesomes with two other men.

A. MONOGAMY i.e. one sex partner!

This is the old stand-by and works for most women and many men. SERIAL MONOGAMY is today's model. If your beloved wife or husband of decades dies - after a reasonable period about everyone is open to you moving on to another mate hopefully for the rest of your life or theirs. IF this 2nd mate dies then you are welcome to go for a 3rd!

But it is a fact of life that MALES want to spread their seed and even spray their urine around - whether marking their territory or just showing their stuff. MEN are ALLEY CATS - TOM CATS. Face it. Many women if not today's society would like to turn us into lap dogs or house cats but men are horny sum bitches who often like a little "something strange" - male or female
now and again.

IF MONOGAMY works for you - FINE! Congratulations - you are saving a lot of time and energy - worry and even money NOT looking for "strange" sex!

B. STRANGE SEX in TODAY'S WORLD!

LURKING - JO - PORNO - VOYEURISM

Many of our members enjoy getting their jollies or getting OFF by themselves with just watching, reading, or whatever. That is just fine and SAFE SEX to boot for the most part.  It can be taken to extremes like anything else. 12 hours a day viewing PORN and masturbating is excessive. IF
that is you - cut back NOW. OK?

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MASTURBATION - Jack Off Partners:

We have for example a very active Bi LA JACKS Group here in my area (Southern California). For about two or three years I hosted monthly "Long Beach Lunch Bunch" JO PARTIES at
my place. Joining a JO club may be for you. There are many worldwide. Some like the NY JACKS are quite famous.

Getting together once a month or so for a circle jerk seems to work well for many bi married men. Some guys are happy to find one or two JO buds to masturbate with in private once or twice a month. Doing this privately and discreetly regularly can work fine.

Some members like to go to BATHS or ADULT BOOKSTORES or to some private sex clubs - and masturbate with other men. OR get a hand job. This is fine - but be careful of arrest if you are in a PUBLIC PLACE and the local authorities are not amused.

MASTURBATION - alone or mutual is SAFE SEX and can work for many.

ORAL SEX - Giving or Getting or Both!

I FRANKLY am on the side of the big divide that ORAL SEX for the guy getting a blow job is safe most of the time (ie your member is not cut or bleeding). This in regard to AIDS.

I am also on the side of the other big divide that ORAL SEX for the guy giving a blow job is safe most of the time if he has not just had a root canal or massive dental surgery; does not have bleeding gums or trench mouth; or open bleeding cuts in his mouth or on his lips or near his mouth.
This too is as regards HIV infection.

Do discuss your HEALTH and HIV status and STD situation with any potential oral sex partner. EVEN though I believe the above is generally TRUE I am frankly ill at ease to have an HIV
positive guy suck my piping hot member and I do not want to suck off a guy who honestly admits he is HIV positive.

PEOPLE DO LIE or they do not know or choose not to know. SO if oral sex is in fact safe most of the time - that certainly helps out a bit with the LIARS or the many who are CLUELESS.

USE YOUR INTUITION. Your gut always knows first. The body knows first. IF you have "bad vibes" about having sex with ANY PERSON - bow out. Give a stupid excuse but bow out.
Few people will RAPE YOU - so just give some lame excuse! "OH GOD, I have to get back to work - pick up my laundry - pay a parking ticket!" "I think I am going to heave - sorry - I don't want to puke on that fine member of yours!" Race away or hide in the rest room and make heaving sounds!

Supposedly you can catch more germs and diseases FRENCH KISSING most strangers than giving out free blow jobs to them. URINE is very clean. You'd be better to use your urine to put in contact lenses in your eyes than your own saliva.

IF you want to use condoms for ORAL SEX fine. If this is a REQUIREMENT with you - be sure to specify this early on in any discussions with potential sex partners. Some can get very very irritated some time later at the PLACE of DESIGNATION to find out you do enjoy BLOWING on a BALLOON or want them to do so and plan to insist on it. For many MEN oral sex with
CONDOMS is OK - but for other men it is just not worth the bother.

TAKING THE LOAD? SWALLOWING?

If you are PERFORMING ORAL SEX (fellatio) without a condom - in my mind it is up to you to take the load or to swallow or have them explode on your face or chest. The HIV virus can not
live in air or sunlight - but ORAL SEX can put you at risk for other STD's and I suggest you read up on these and also ASK LOTS OF QUESTIONS of your potential sex partners.

ORAL SEX as regards RIMMING!

The person having this lovely experience DONE to them has little to worry about other than razor burn from an unshaved admirer. The active mouth does - I urge you to read up on this. But this piece is not about sex involving waste products.

ORAL SEX as regards Golden Showers!

As noted URINE is in fact very clean. IF you want to do this - get in the shower or bath tub and have at it - in either role or both! THEN take a real shower NEXT.

ANAL SEX TODAY _ Condoms a must!

I do not care what they tell you or how many SEX TEST RESULTS they show you - if you plan to get POKED - have a good strong CONDOM with water-based lube at the ready. INSIST on THIS.

IF you are the GREEK "TOP" and they want to "bareback" - FORGET IT. If they bareback for you - how many others have they barebacked for lately. Maybe they even go to gay bath houses
and lay on their tummies with the door open for HOURS ON END letting every piping hot member in the place plow them bareback. IF they BAREBACK for a new partner = you are not "special".

At Bi MEN NETWORK - we do NOT allow ANY postings for barebacking or bareback anal sex. This is now very popular with many teenaged and 20's young men - who have not seen MANY of their friends die of AIDS.

GET USED to CONDOMS for all anal sex. Carry a spare or two with you. Get the water-based lube to tote around too. DO NOT USE OILS or oil-based lubes. They can bust the condom - tear it - much more easily in mid-sex. Try many condoms - try the colored ones - turn your white pal into a big black buck with a black colored condom! Try a FRENCH TICKLER!

Remember that CONDOMS can also make the anal sex act LAST LONGER. If you have problems with premature ejaculation or have a hair trigger use condoms to make SEX last longer for you and your partner both. Many guys can tell their wives they want to use FRENCH TICKLERS or condoms to liven up the sex and make it last longer.

IF nothing else as a TOP view the condom as YOUR buddy to prevent "Butterfinger SYNDROME" or worse - "Attack of the Big Baby Ruth" !!! Sadly many newbie bisexual men do not have the best douche set-ups at home!  Why ruin a first date with all that muss and fuss? Toss that pesky used condom away!

SO condoms are a must for ANAL SEX.

FINGERING the ANUS & DILDO PLAY

This can be fun too and is generally safe. Consider fingering your buddy's hole while you JO him or give him the BJ of his life.  I have ALWAYS told all women I know who would listen to me that half the husbands on earth would not stray if their wives would only give them this finger now and again during sex play. Do NOT finger a dark dirty rectum with a finger with an open cut! DILDOS should be cleaned after each use - did I have to tell anyone that???

OK! well that is it - we could go on and on and on.

BUT PLAY SAFELY - and be sure to "interview" new sex partners about their HIV status and STD status before sex. IF you have not played with a guy for quite a while - RE-INTERVIEW HIM. SO make disclosure yourself to let him know - then ask him about his situation.

Have SEX IN PRIVATE - not in public. Ask yourself as we did before - "Is this a place of ASSIGNATION or a place of DESIGNATION?"  If you would not have sex with your wife there - why are you risking arrest with someone else there?

The Bi MEN NETWORK does not encourage or condone public sex. We view SEX as a private matter between consenting adults - done in private!

Have fun - get some - get any! Safely! Live to root another day - and another decade! Keep it up and keep at it!

HUGS!

Stewart ("Mac") McCloud
Founder & Moderator
The Bi MEN NETWORK
http://www.bimen.org

Want a FRENCH TICKLER - other sex toys or a DILDO to liven things up???

Check out our Bi MEN TOY SHOPPE:

http://shop.sextoys.sex-superstore.com/cgi-bin/click.cgi?5486

All shipments promptly/discreetly made w. credit card billing: "Online Shopping".

Dear Bi Men Members & Friends:

RE: Sex Tips & Answers for YOU!
Here is a NIFTY guide with tips and answers to many man-sex concerns - A TO Z - as: poppers; dildos; baths; penis size; frottage; piercing; shaving; and ON AND ON with more and more.
Go to view at: 
Gay.com Health section

Best Wishes ******** "MAC" McCLOUD

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Other bi-themed essays and articles which may be of interest to you:

Sean and Jennifer Discuss Some of the Issues of Bisexuality in Marriage

Bidentity

Return to "Wednesday's Child" Directory

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